The Male App - Know a bit too much about your partner

Ok, so I heard about this app, and don’t think I’ve ever downloaded an app so fast – not because I was excited to own it, but because I had to know if it was genuine.

$4.49 is the price for The Male App, and the app’s basic purpose is to educate you and inform you about the female menstrual cycle.

Seriously. I’m not kidding you.

Once installed, the you need to answer a few simple questions about your partner.

Her Birthdate. Yep, got that.

Your Anniversary. Yep, let me think, got that.

“The first date of the cycle”. You what mate? Hello?

Without this, the app is useless. Yep, you need to either get your detective work going, or be asking some super awkward questions to determine this critical date.

Once you do, your eyes are opened to a whole new world. You’ll get a graph – yep, a graph, of her “cycle”. Educating you on a day by day basis as to her oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone levels.

And for each day – a little description of what you might notice.

Here’s some gems:

Day 7 – “Warning – spending sprees may occur!”

Day 12 – “This is a great time to nurture your relationship as this phase of the cycle is when she’s feeling and looking her best”

Day 23 – “Time to start practicing increased patience and understanding”

Each day has a video explainer too!!

The Male App website says …”sometimes it can be a little overwhelming trying to understand where your lady friend is at. You’ve probably noticed one day she’s loving and affectionate and then she can become Miss Crankypants the next.”

I’m assuming the bloke behind this thing is now single – sure as heck I’d be sleeping in the man-cave if I was writing that stuff!

Now, there’s clearly a solid need for understanding here, and there is a real benefit here to the pregnancy planning process – understanding the cycle is actually pretty critical there because there’s plenty of days where “trying” is a complete waste of time.

That said, getting that first critical “date” is the key, and good luck with that. Perahps you can work it out for yourself if you match her mood and behaviour to what the App reports.

Oh and there’s a quiz too – a 14 question run through of what you need to know.

Beware though, if she finds you reading the app, or sees it installed on your phone – particularly on the wrong day – you’re in the dog house my friend.