What the hell are doing awarding a gong to an Elephant sized 4WD monster armed with a 5.7-litre 298kW PETROL V8? Well that’s the point of the EFTM Best award, it’s all about casting aside normal sensibilities – like having to sell the idea of buying one to your wife.

Nissan Patrol ST-L

Nissan Patrol V8 ST-L

The mammoth Nissan Patrol V8 sits alongside the far more sensible yet truck-like grey nomad favourite (Y61) which is still on sale. At over five metres long and just a tick under two metres wide the Y62 Patrol V8 has interior space approaching tennis court dimensions. The creamy, meaty V8 is like having a coal-fired power plant at your disposal, it pulls like a bullock train. Not neck snapping pace, but sheer, relentless pull.

No mater what grade you choose the Patrol V8 offers an impressively furnished cabin, with up to 8-seats on offer. You’d think for a monolith that even out does a Land Cruiser for size driving one would be an intimidating experience. Not so, with heavily assisted light steering the massive frame shrinks around you. With time you find yourself easily darting in and out of traffic with surprising ease.

SAMSUNG CSC

Plus off-road we can faithfully report the Patrol V8 will slay just about any situation you could reasonably throw at it. It’s a marvel that humans can create such a machine, it’s true that many humans won’t buy one, because to do so is simply an act of inhumanity upon our dear planet. But gee we bloody love it, just staggering.